Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap ...

In this month's edition of potentially self-destructive behaviors, I bought a touch guitar.

I've been curious about these instruments ever since the mid-1990s, when I discovered King Crimson's music, especially their work on the albums Discipline (with Tony Levin playing a Chapman Stick) and Thrak (with Levin on Stick and Trey Gunn playing a Warr Guitar). However, as impoverished grad student, I couldn't even think of buying one of those instruments, or even a budget-priced Austin Douglas guitar [sorry, their website is no more]. Over the past 20 years, every couple of years or so I would check to see what's out there in the way of used instruments, but they always carried a four-figure price tag that I just couldn't see paying until, perhaps, after I were to become proficient and actually use the instrument in my professional work at least as much as I've used the theremin.

Last week, via one or another online discussion form, I found the site of luthier Kevin Siebold in Raleigh, North Carolina, who makes 1-, 2-, and 3-string guitars from reclaimed wood and sells them under the defiantly punk name Krappy Guitars, with a disclaimer that soaks the principle of Caveat Emptor in grain alcohol and then sets it on fire:

Our warranty: There is no warranty, expressed or implied. We fully acknowledge our product is crap, and your purchase signifies that you have entered into an agreement to buy a product that is lacking in quality, contains poor materials, and is worthy of much abuse and destruction. We will in no way provide any customer service, so don't even waste your time!!!

However, that manifesto doesn't apply to the touch-style instruments that he makes. I was intrigued to see that he offers an unadorned neck (with fretboard and tuners) for do-it-yourself-ers, and wrote him to ask about pricing. Strictly speaking, this must've been a nuisance e-mail, as within a minute of hitting "Send" I discovered his Pricing page that displayed exactly the information I'd requested (oops!) ... and I had to admit to myself that I surely don't really have the time to assemble another guitar from parts (back in the mid-oughts, I made a Tele-style Partscaster, but that was when my judgment was clouded by mind-altering drugs). Oh, well ...

... and yet, Kevin replied almost immediately, asking me whether I would be interested in buying a used 10-string instrument with a padauk fretboard and canary body:

This was too good to pass up. No, it doesn't offer all the functional amenities of a Chapman Stick or a Warr Guitar (e.g., there are no tone controls, the two truss rods are accessed and adjusted from the base of the neck, rather than its middle, there's no belt hook), nor all the cosmetics (viz., no fretboard inlays—those fretboard dots are plain white decals—and no multi-layer glossy finish). But it's well-constructed, the hardwoods look beautiful, and it shows virtually no wear and tear; I suspect the original user gave up when he discovered (as I'm discovering now) how much time and hard work it would actually take to transfer his previous bass and/or guitar experience to touchstyle techniques. And its price "used" was only a fraction of the cost of a used Chapman Stick or Warr Guitar, never mind the price of a new one.

I will post updated pictures after I've applied some faux-abalone "inlay" decals. I'm inordinately excited to learn about the latter, as they will also offer a much easier (and more easily reversible!) way to mark temperaments such as 31-EDO on the LTD EC-256 that I rendered fretless a couple of years ago.

But that's all for the near-ish future; right now, I need to start learning to play the thing ... well, right after I walk the dog. Did I mention that her visage may well wind up on the headstock, rendered in faux-abalone decal?